Answers
The questions you carry, answered from the other side.
I'm Josh, Haven's founder. I was the one in addiction, and I'm seventeen years sober. These are my honest answers to the questions the people who love someone in addiction ask, because my family had nobody to ask.
Why Do Addicts Say Hurtful Things?
I said them, and I aimed them. Seventeen years sober, here is what was underneath the cruelest things I said, and why they were never information about you.
Should I Give Money to Someone in Addiction?
I was the one asking for it. Seventeen years sober, here's what your money actually bought, and why the answer is not simple.
What Do You Say to Someone in Active Addiction?
I was the one being talked to. Seventeen years sober, here's what landed, what bounced straight off, and why.
Am I Enabling or Am I Helping?
I was the one being enabled, often in the same afternoon I was being helped. Seventeen years sober, here's the line as best I can draw it.
Is My Child's Addiction My Fault?
No. I was the child. Seventeen years sober, and I can tell you where it came from, because it came from me.
What Does Detaching With Love Actually Mean?
It gets handed to families with no instructions. Seventeen years sober, here's what it means, what it doesn't, and how it gets used wrong.
Does an Addict Have to Hit Rock Bottom?
No. I didn't. Seventeen years sober, and waiting for someone's bottom is the most dangerous thing families get told.
How to Help an Addict Who Doesn't Want Help
I was the addict who didn't want help. Seventeen years sober, here's what the people who loved me actually did, and what was never their job.
Why Do Addicts Lie to the People They Love?
I was the liar. Seventeen years sober, I can tell you why I lied to my family every day, and why believing me was never your fault.
Can Love Save an Addict?
My family's love reached me. All of it landed. And it could not get me sober. Seventeen years in, here's what love actually did.
Watching Someone You Love Destroy Themselves
I was the one being watched. Seventeen years sober, I can tell you what it looked like from inside, and what it was never about.
Guilt After Leaving an Addict
Most advice on this guilt comes from people who left. I'm the one who got left. My parents cut me off three months before I got sober.
How to Set Boundaries With an Addict
I'm the wrong person to teach you how. I was the addict on the receiving end. Here's what the boundary did when it landed on me.
How to Stop Worrying About Someone in Addiction
I can't teach you to stop worrying. Nobody honest can. But I was the son my mom worried about, and I can tell you what I know from the inside.
Do Addicts Ignore Your Messages on Purpose?
I was the one who went silent. Seventeen years sober, here's what your unanswered messages actually meant, and what they never meant.
My Husband Is in Denial About His Addiction
He has the problem and doesn't see it. I was the one who felt fine while my family fell apart. Seventeen years sober, here's how denial works from inside.
My Husband Blames Me for His Relapse
I said things like that when I was using, so I have to answer this. Seventeen years sober: the blame was never yours. Here's what it really was.